Love, Love, Love

Everyone just wants to love and be loved. I heard this somewhere recently, and it was one of those things where everyone in the room just paused for a moment. Such a simple truth. No one can really argue with that. I brought it up in the middle of an intense conversation at one of my classes recently, and again there was this pause with an ensuing connectedness in the room.

The interesting thing is we all seem to know this, but forget it regularly. I have been practicing re-minding myself this simple truth in different situations. Give it a whirl. I have found it very helpful.

Practice re-minding yourself this when you are in the grocery store. Practice it the next time you are in an argument. Practice it when you feel impatient with your child......or anyone. Practice it when you feel angry, excited, upset, joyful, sad, indifferent. Say it slowly - slower and still slower. Remember as you practice it that it is everyone, everywhere, all of the time.

Today's journal exercise:

Today write this statement slowly in your journal seven times. When you are finished begin stream of consciousness writing for at least 3 pages on whatever comes up for you. Anything and everything that comes up for you. Just write it down.

Chocolate

Okay, really if you are gonna write a blog about re-minding anyone about anything at least one post has to be a re-minder to eat chocolate. Not that any of us would forget.....least of all me, but still it is a good re-minder that sometimes a little sweet indulgence is a nice way to treat yourself!

Enjoy!

Ideas

I get a lot of my ideas for posts here from people in various parts of my life. Most recently I've noticed a lot of ideas come from Facebook friends - Thanks! Just when I think I am not sure where the next idea will come from I read something, bump into an old friend, or get a phone call from someone who just needs to vent and suddenly I've heard something that is just the perfect re-minder.

In the career development classes I teach I always tell participants that 80% of all jobs come from networking. Then we go on to talk about how many other things also come from networking - like ideas!

Today's re-minder - connecting with others in many different ways brings value to my life in more ways than I can count!

What Are You 'Fraid Of?

I was thinking today about a story from when I was a kid. My children love this story. Today when I was thinking of it, it had a new helpful twist.

My family was sitting around the table at a pizza parlor when my step mother noticed my fathers shirt was all worn out. She couldn't believe he was wearing that shirt to a restaurant. She looked at him and said, "Wayne, your sleeves are all frayed."

My dad lifted his wrist close to his face and said in a cute, little squeaky voice, "What are you 'fraid of little sleeve?" My brother and I cracked up at his pun.

My girls ask me to repeat this story so often I think of it all of the time. Today when I was meditating on some recent challenges in my life I could hear my dad's voice asking, "What are you 'fraid of little Tanya?" It was the perfect question to help me work through what was on my mind.

One of my fond childhood memories became a great re-minder for me. I think I will ask myself this question often as I go about my journey.

Einstein Re-minds Us

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." -Albert Einstein

I love this quote from Einstein. Google Einstein quotes for great re-minder after great re-minder.

Enjoy!

Internal? External?

Today's journal question:

Are you an internal or external processor?

I am definitely an external processor. Some people take things in and stew on them and then after a time it is all processed and they are good with it. Not me, I need to process it in some way externally, by talking to a friend, writing about it or at least taking a walk while I think about it.

Absolutely, we all do some of both. I can say I am so grateful to have clarity on what really works best for me. I am pretty good at listening to my intuition and realizing if I need to call a friend, or go take a nap.

Right in the middle of something that really needs to be processed is not the time to figure out what works best for you. Think back to what has worked well in the past. You will fine tune what works for you now that you are being aware. Start from awareness and that alone will help.

Chai Tea and a Lap Top

I am re-minded how gratitude can instantly pick up my day in the most simple way. It blows me away how the easy act of naming off a few things I am grateful for can give me a quick "pick me up." Even when I have a little doubt in my head that it will work, after only coming up with a few things for the list I feel better.

I re-alized this morning it is because naming off a few things I am grateful for is a re-minder. It is a re-minder of the things I can so easily take for granted.

Today I am grateful for my cup of chai tea and my lap top. Ahhhh how they make the morning so much brighter!

Today's journal question:

You guessed it! What are you grateful for?

Perfect Timing

A few months ago Grammy bought a book for me by an author I love, Sue Monk Kidd. Her book, "Secret Life of Bees" is in my top 10 novels list and I was looking for "The Mermaid Chair." We were at a great little used book store, B's Mountain of Books, and instead of "The Mermaid Chair" I found, "When the Heart Waits."

I promptly started reading and I just wasn't loving it. I've had this experience before with authors I enjoy, so acting on past experience I put the book down for awhile remembering sometimes the timing is just a little off for me.

At the time I had a lot going on in my life, and my original intuition to find a novel ("Heart Waits" is nonfiction) was just what I needed. I picked up "The Mermaid Chair" instead and it was like a good friend hanging out with me while I worked through some challenges.

The other day I picked up "When the Heart Waits" again, and it was perfect timing. It felt like a different book for me. I was reading and reading, and underlining and putting stars all over the page. I'm sure excerpts from this book will pop up in this blog soon!

This is such a good re-minder about timing and re-membering to let it be. There was a time in my life when I would have almost forced myself to read the book because I *know* there is something good here. I would have been disappointed and missed all the great stuff in the book.

Today's journal question:

Is there something in my life that I am struggling with that I could let go of for a time? If I don't want to let go, maybe it is helpful to re-mind myself I can pick it up again, and the timing might be better.

Cat Meditation

This morning for my meditation I held my cat. I didn't plan it that way. She sat in my lap and I pet her. It was a nice change in my routine. Not that I don't hold my cat all the time, its just that this morning I realized it was a meditation, and I let it be.

Let it be. Oh to take this from my this meditation into the rest of my life.

Today's journalling question:

Would you be willing to change your routine in one aspect of your life? An aspect you had not thought of before? Would you be willing to float down the river of life? Sometimes floating, sometimes paddling a little this direction or that, but not pushing the river?

Stuck

Here I am stuck. I don't know what to write. I have already tried some of the things that help me when I get to this place. I have gone online and searched around all over the place looking for something to spark an idea. I have tried doing something else and seeing if the block goes away, and it didn't. So here I am doing what I have told so many others to do.....just sit down and write about not knowing what to write about.

This is particularly helpful when journalling, and has never failed me. Whenever I am journalling and I get stuck I just start writing that I am stuck. I don't know what to write.....and on and on in that fashion, and pretty soon I am journalling away. That is often times when I uncover something very helpful as well.

In this case, I am thinking that the main thing to come out of this is just to pass along this helpful journalling tool. We will see if it helps to unstick my blogging stuck-ness.....

Today's journalling idea:

Try the above....Doesn't matter what comes to mind write it down. Even if what comes to mind is "this is stupid, I don't want to do this," write it down. Keep writing until what comes to mind is something beyond the stuck-ness.

Quotes Please

In case you haven't noticed by now I absolutely love quotes. I am a quote collector. Often, I find quotes in books or on the web, but even more often I hear them from other people or receive them in an email from a friend.

I would love to know what your favorite quote(s) are. Please leave a comment with your favorite quote(s). If you have difficulty figuring out the comment format or you would rather send them to me directly, please email me at tanyajordening@gmail.com

I look forward to hearing from you.

Today's journalling question:

What is your favorite quote? How is your life different today than when you first heard this quote?

None of My Business

What you think of me is none of my business.

I thought I was mostly unconcerned with what others think of me. On the surface, I will wear whatever clothes I want, go out in public without make up on all of the time, and do pretty much whatever I feel like at any given moment. Recently I noticed that under the surface I have more concern about what others think of me than I thought.

I find I occasionally check myself against what I think others think of me. I find this interesting since what someone thinks about me is generally based on their outside perception. So, what is it that makes me think they know something about who I am on the inside? Truly, what someone else thinks of me inside or out is none of my business. Truly, their thoughts (or judgements) are outside of me, and what is true about me is right smack dab at the center or me.

Oh ya!

Today's journalling question:

Are there ways I am giving energy to what people think of me that I may have previously been unaware of?

Be Gentle

Be gentle with yourself. I am re-minded of a story from my college days, when I would not ask for help from a friend. My mother was my re-minder at the time, simply asking me what I would do if the friend asked me for the same help? "Oh, I would be happy to help. Honored really."

This re-minds me often of what I would do for you, but not me. How I would act towards you, but not towards myself. Today I am re-membering to be gentle with myself, and if I am not sure what that looks like or how to do it I simply think of how I would treat you.

Today's journalling question...

In what ways am I more gentle and kind to others than I am to myself?

Sit There

Don't just do something, sit there!

This is your re-minder to - STOP!

Just sit there.

Meditate!

Contemplate!

BE!

Happy Valentine's Day

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." -Rumi

Okay, since deciding a couple of days ago to post this quote today for Valentine's Day I have taken on the task (somewhat consciously and somewhat unconsciously) and I have FOUND THE BARRIERS....or rather it seems as if they have found me!

Funny how when I consciously give my unconscious an invitation to grow it RUNS WITH IT! A friend of mine today re-minded me that my unconscious thinks its job is to protect me. Hmm, I think my unconscious might be working overtime.

I noticed when I consciously decided to let go of a barrier to love in my life today, my unconscious immediately went into a full blown tantrum (to protect me - LOL)! Gratefully I could re-cognize it as a tantrum right away.

I watched it with amusement like, "Gee, isn't that cute how my subconscious thinks it is protecting me by throwing a tantrum and setting up a "barrier" between me and my love." Actually, no not so cute. I kindly thanked my "unconscious" for doing "its job." It was more of a thanks, but no thanks - "I appreciate your help, but I got this one." The tantrum continued, I noticed it, detatched, and was able to gracefully move past it. WOW! I love it when that happens!

Today's journalling question:

What are the barriers you have built against love? Do you notice your subconscious throwing any tantrums in your life? (Hint: The subconscious "throwing a tantrum" is more commonly identified as a problem or issue in your life) What is your subconscious "protecting" you from?

Serenity Sabotage

I sincerely hope you do not need this re-minder, but I for one can use it pretty regularly, so if you do need it I hope it is helpful. If not, please be patient with those of us who do. Those of us who can relate to this re-minder, have lived with a lot of chaos, and okay I will just admit it, drama. When we find ourselves in a peaceful situation it is an unconscious re-action (acting again without thinking) to create chaos and/or drama. Unfortunately this is a bummer for us and those who are close to us.

Like I said, this is unconscious, so it is a little tricky. In the midst of all the chaos or drama we stored reaction in our unconsious that interestingly enough triggers us to create chaos and drama because it became our comfort zone. It is time to make a new comfort zone.

How do you do that????

One thing that can help is just re-mind yourself often - I notice it is peaceful in my life, and I choose to stay in this peaceful place. I do not need to create chaos or drama to feel comfortable. I choose to allow myself to experience this peace instead.

Today's journalling question:

Is there anywhere in your life where you are sabotaging your serenity? What kind of chaos is comfortable for you?

Great Questions

In alignment with my suggestion to "get in the pond" in my January 12th post I am reading a book I bumped into at the library, Writing to Change the World," by Mary Pipher. It is definitely keeping me in the "pond," and makes it easier for me to "keep swimming." It has an exercise that is right in tune with my new theme on journalling. I am including the exercises here and hope you get as much from it as I have. Enjoy!

Ms. Pipher suggests answering these questions on paper to help change writers find their voice, but I think most if not all are great questions for anyone.

What makes you laugh, cry and open your heart? (Ooooo, I particularly like this question!)

What points do you repeatedly make to those you love?

What topics keep you up at night, or help you fall asleep?

What do you know to be true?

What do you consider to be evil?

What is beautiful to you?

What do you most respect in others?

What excites your curiosity?

If you were the ruler of the world, what would you do first?

What do you want to accomplish before you die?

Can't wait to hear how you enjoyed this exercise!

Our Worst Enemy?

"Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thought." - Buddha

Last year I had a situation in my life that felt incredibly stressful. It seemed like I was being attacked, and I felt angry and scared. As the fear grew it began to consume me and almost every aspect of my life. It wasn't fun to be me, and I am pretty sure it wasn't much fun being around me either.

In hind site, I can see that more than half the stress originated in my thoughts, rather than by the actions of "my worst enemy." I realized, once again, that while the actions of another may feel like an attack, I attack myself over and over with my thoughts of fear, anger, judgement or self condensation.

Today's journal question:

Where do I feel attacked by another? In what way am I attacking myself with my feelings and thoughts about that event?

Life Purpose

"There is nothing more truly artistic than to love people." - Vincent Van Gogh

What a great quote. It says in one sentence what I have said to people seeking their life purpose for a long time. As an artist I originally started my career in architecture. While there were many things I loved in that field I always felt there was something missing. In the early 90's by a "good stroke of luck," I ventured into working with people and absolutely LOVED it. For years I wasn't clear how I could love this work so much when it seemed to me (and to almost everyone I met) such a far cry from what I had loved doing as an artist.

When I started working more specifically with people as a career coach I began more and more to see how creative my work actually was. As part of the process to finding a career with passion clients would list things that they love to do and look for a translation to a career. Often times people miss the clues to possible paths because we fail to look for the less "obvious" connections.

In this process I could see how easily one could assume that as an artist I would want to pursue a career in graphic design, illustration or architecture, but actually when looking at the whole person, the work I currently do is a much better fit for me. This work combines my passion for creativity, my love of working with people and my value for freedom, family and community. Truly I am blessed to have found it!

This re-minds me of the three concentric circles again. What we see on the surface is related to what is at the center, but what is at the center can translate into many different things on the surface.

Today's journalling question:

What are you translating from your core in a literal way that could be expanded? What other ways could this core part of you express in your life?

This blog post dedicated to my dad, Wayne Bartels, one of the most passionate and talented people I know, Eddie Jones, my friend and very talented curriculum writer Sheran Mattson, and my very creative friend Shaunna O'Dowd.

Connect More

What if we took this connecting thing to another level? Consider all the people who are currently in the wall paper of your life. Oh sure, you might talk to them or maybe you don't. We're talking about the people who are running in the background of your life. There are hundreds, thousands, but we barely even notice them.

It's the people driving in the cars next to you, the banker, the woman walking down the same store aisle as you. The people at the next table in the restaurant, the waitress or the guy walking down the street. The children standing in line for the bus or the lady in the office next to yours. The cashier, the man next to you in line or the receptionist at the doctor's office. This list could go on and on.

Who do they love? What are they hurting about in silence? What is their favorite color? What concerns them? What do they love to do? What did they forget about? Who are their friends? What do they wish for?

What if just noticing them or thinking about them made a connection that makes a difference? What if hundreds, thousands or millions of us noticed another person in some small but kind way?

Journal question for today:

Who is in the wall paper of my everyday life and what kind thought could I have for them today? How would this change my world?

True Self

Yesterday I posted about a number of things "getting under my skin." While contemplating the situation I noticed a common theme. The theme was a realization that in every situation I was getting away from my center, away from my True Self. As soon as I noticed this it was as simple as re-centering, and I instantly felt better.

Today's journalling question:

Is there any place where you are out of center? What do you believe is your True Self?

What works best for you to re-center?

Under Your Skin

While facilitating a class on Self Awareness today I was inspired to turn my attention to what was going on for me. What I noticed was I am letting little things get under my skin. In each of the situations I noticed a common theme.

A little later in the day I was re-minded, yet again, how much journalling has helped me over the years, and as I thought about a particularly frustrating situation. I re-membered that when I take issues to my journal, it is always helpful.

These two things gave me an idea. I often include questions with my posts, why not make these journalling questions. I invite you to start a journal, if you haven't already, and take the time to journal on some or all of these questions. Then share your process with us.

Today's journal question...

What is getting under your skin these days? What is it that really bugs you about that? Do you notice a theme or pattern in the things that are bothering you?

P.S. I mentioned I noticed a theme. I'll give you a chance to have your own process, and share what I noticed in my process tomorrow. Until then.........Namaste!

Connect

We all long to connect. We want to be a part of. When we connect with others we begin to experience our oneness.

How can you connect with someone today. Is there someone in your life on a regular basis you can connect with more deeply? Could you ask them about a part of themselves you may take for granted?

Is there someone you may not normally connect with? It could be as simple as a smile or a hello. It could be as simple as letting go of a judgemental thought of either someone you know or someone you don't.

Maybe you need to connect with yourself a little more. Could you use just a moment a lone to relax? Have you been putting off something you would like to do for yourself? Are you the one who you have been judging?

When we make a conscious effort to connect with another, and even with ourselves we fulfill one of our greatest needs.

Peace of Mind Funk

Yesterday I was in the strangest funk. For lack of a better way to describe it, I am going to call it my peace of mind funk. Peace of mind because for quite some time I have been in a good place. Oh sure, things come up, but overall I really have nothing to complain about. Really! It is awesome. And, I have been pretty good at not analyzing it and just letting myself be here, noticing the beauty of it all.

So, when I found myself a little on the down side yesterday it was such a peculiar feeling. I felt down, but for no particular reason. It wasn't a "bad" feeling just a little heavy. I noticed I wanted to analyze it, but I kept re-minding myself to just be here.

I did all of the things I normally do, I journalled, talked with a friend, meditated, read some inspiring things, went for a walk in the sunshine and finally even took a nap. I still felt about the same. That's when I picked up a novel I had started a couple of months ago. It felt so nice to ease into a good story. I had forgotten how nice a "no thinking, easy going, not gonna necessarily learn anything from this" book can be.

I am grateful I re-membered!

Re-membering to Re-lease (part 2)

One thing that really helps make it easier to let go of control is feeling safe. Learning what makes you feel safe is a process. Sometimes we aren't even aware of the fact that we are feeling unsafe because we are so accustomed to being in that particular situation.

Journalling, talking with friends, meditating and just being open to possibilities help in the process of making choices that create the feeling of safety in our lives. Once we feel safe the need to control becomes less.

What situations, people and things make you feel safe? What action can you take today towards creating a safe and peaceful environment for yourself?

Re-membering to Re-lease

While re-flecting on an Abraham Hicks video I watched yesterday, I had an awareness I am grateful I re-membered. The topic was how children with special needs can teach us that we can not change them - we cannot control them. As I thought about it I was thinking of all the times I have tried to control someone else, and failed.

I was re-minded of how miserable I was when I tried to control people, places and things around me. As I sat there pondering I had an "aha moment." Recently I have been experiencing a lot of serenity in my life, and every time I have been tempted to "figure it out," I have re-minded myself to just be. I have re-minded myself that if there is information for me to be aware of concerning this serenity it will come to me. That is exactly what happened.

Sitting there considering my serenity and the thoughts I had about trying to control things making me miserable I realized that lately I had let go of a lot of control. I had been catching myself when I want to control people places and things, and although I had not done it perfectly I had made the choice much sooner to re-lease control and let it be.

Ahhhhhhh, peace of mind.........

A Little + A Little = A lot

And....

A little minus A little = NONE!

I was inspired to start Re-minderz because I am always amazed at how something I have known forever can slip my awareness and then turn out to be exactly the wisdom I need in a particular situation. Again this is true for me...

I often don't think of the little things. I have a commitment to myself to take a 20 minute walk 3 times a week. It usually turns out to be 5 to 7 times a week, and often it is more than 20 minutes. I learned a long time ago that a small commitment usually leads me to more action, and the commitment stays there in the background as the bare minimum that I know is necessary for sanity in my life. This works for me. Even though often times I am only getting that small amount of exercise, I am almost always consistently getting exercise.

Interesting thing is I've notice that sometimes A little minus A little = Less Than I thought! This is true for exercise. When I get into a place where I am getting even less exercise than my commitment the first place I begin to notice it is not in how I feel physically, but emotionally! I guess I am a slow learner in this place because the awareness creeps back to me very slowly, and usually right in the middle of some melt down I wish I weren't having.

What I have found is the more I re-mind myself about this when I am on track the less I slip back into the less than zone!

Hmm, what other area might these simple mathematics be playing a role?

NaBloPoMo

In November I wrote a post entitle "A Pie With 8 Pieces." In that post I said that it is important to know which piece of the pie needs your attention, or in other words, which of the 8 aspects of your life needs the most attention. Last week in "Two in One," one of the two re-minderz was how helpful it can be to talk something over, out loud with a good listener. Just the other day I was talking over my life with a friend, incidentally the same friend I mentioned last week, and I had another important awareness. Again, I am so grateful for friends!

Currently the piece of the pie needing my attention is the career piece. Now the interesting thing is this was a little tricky for me to see since I also have more work for the month of February than I have had in 3 years! Nonetheless, I have not been blogging like I want to, and that is an important piece of this pie for me.

While beginning to give attention to this, I ran across NaBloPoMo. My daughter had participate in NaNoWriMo, in November - isn't that interesting timing, and so I was interested. For NaBloPoMo, authors can sign up to make a commitment to posting to their blog everyday. I did it. I signed up! That is one way to hold myself accountable, but then I pondered whether or not to say something to you....and here I am sending this out. Now that really feels like accountability.

So, I'll be here everyday in February. I invite you to stop by and say hello. I always enjoy your comments, and I just found a way to make it easier. You no longer have to become a member to comment. Simply click on the word comment below, and type away!

What area of your life needs attention today? What one thing could you do to make a difference for yourself in that area? What are you committed to? How does accountability work for you?