Disbelief

Day 13 of 21 Days of Prayer Outside the Box

During a particularly dark parts of my journey, I was so down, I literally took the phone into the closet and sat  in the corner on the floor dialing a long, trusted friend.  After spilling out my story, in between sobs, I ended by confiding in her that I no longer believed in God.  I was seriously desolate and at an all time low.  I called this friend because I knew that sharing this with her would not shake her.  I was hopeful that she would know how to help, but absolutely unprepared for her response.

Without skipping a beat she said, "Have you prayed about that?"

With a look of further disbelief, I held the phone away from my face looking at it as though something must be wrong.  Surely she hadn't heard me correctly.  So I said, "Did you hear me?  I said, I don't believe in God anymore!"

Her quick and even response, "I heard you.  I think you should pray about that."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I call you and tell you I don't believe in God anymore, and you think I should pray about that?  Who would I pray to??"

Still absolutely unmoved she said, "Pray about it and call me back."

This friend had never steered me wrong before and I was just desperate enough to get on my knees and start praying.  My prayer started with "Susie thinks I should pray, so here I am."

Thinking back on it now gives me Truth bumps.  The amazing thing to me is that I recently asked her if she remembered that time I called her from the floor in the closet.  She laughed jovially recalling that I had called her from the floor more than once, but she doesn't remember saying that.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  I am quite sure she was an inspired messenger that day.

I share this story hoping that if ever you find yourself in such a dark place, if ever you should be absolutely sure beyond doubt that prayer won't help, I hope you will remember me on the floor praying to God, who I didn't believe in.