Right or Happy?

Let go of your ego’s need to be right. When you’re in the middle of an argument, ask yourself: Do I want to be right or be happy? When you choose the joyous, loving, spiritual mode, your connection to intention is strengthened. -Wayne Dyer

Years ago a friend asked me if I would rather be right or happy. I honestly had to stop and think. Having been raised to believe that being right was happiness I had never considered otherwise, and I was embarrassed to admit it. Now, all these years later, I am amazed at how often I observe the desire to be right in myself and all over our culture. I am also amazed how incredibly freeing and peaceful it is to know that I can admit when I am not right and in fact let go completely of the need to be right.

This is definitely one of those journeys of progress not perfection for me. In fact, I crack myself up when I want to be perfect in this place. I catch myself, "Oh there I am wanting to be right again." I notice that it is really tied to thinking that when I am right I am safe. Being present to this awareness helps and I have found a little humor, mindfullness and a whole lot of patience and unconditional love go a long way on this journey.

"Transcendence isn't mystical. It means going beyond the surface activity of the mind which is restless and conflicted to find the level of being that is content.  At this level you're happy to be here. Existence is enough." -Deepak Chopra

This level of being that Deepak mentions in this quote is always there.  Always available.  It waits only for us to quiet ourselves, listen and be present to it.  We are not asked to deny whatever we are experiencing on the surface but rather to lean into it. Be totally present with it.  To sink into the everpresent existence of enough.

REleasing Struggle

"Being happy doesn't mean everything looks perfect and ideal every minute of the day.  It means that life is unfolding without struggle.  Anxiety and insecurity aren't our companions.  And the best time of our lives is now." -Deepak Chopra

The idea of moving through challenge without struggle is foreign to many of us.  The secret is in the now. Be in the moment, even with the difficulty.  You might be surprised at how much less struggle there is when you are simply present.

Possessed

"You get to the point where your demons, which are terrifying, get smaller and smaller and you get bigger and bigger." - August Wilson

When I came across this quote today it made more sense to me than ever before.

Not too awfully long ago I was working with my coach and feeling particularly challenged.  I said to her, I feel like I am possessed.  Her answer was, "That might be because it is like you are."  I laughed. Not exactly what one might want to hear, but it really validated the way I felt."  There was a huge lump of uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach that seemed like it was taking over me.  I was reacting to everything in my path.  I wasn't until I was able to really get present with it that it dissolved into this peaceful beingness that now seems like a refuge in a storm. Now after reading that quote I am realizing, I am becoming more me.

I love it when my Good Earth Tea (and in this case, Steve Jobs) speak to me.

"Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your inner voice." -Steve Jobs

And I would say, "Don't let the 'filters' of others drown out your true self."

Filters - baggage, B.S., triggers

And I would say, "Don't let your own 'filters' (baggage, B.S., triggers) drown out your true self."

All Paths

I am a believer that all paths lead to the top of the mountain.  Then comes the question, if all paths lead to the top of the mountain why does it seem like I am getting nowhere?

Great question.

I call that the comfort zone path.  The path that we find or plow which circles around and around the mountain seeming to get no where.  First let me say that I am also a firm believer that there is no where to get (more on this in a later post). Yet, this getting to the top is such a great metaphor to explore.

That feelings of getting no where, judging our own path or having expectations of what it should be seem to be related.  My most simple feedback would be to stop judging it and get present with it. Possibly more easily understandable, and by that I mean more readily accepted by those of us who want clear cut instruction ons what to do, might be to move towards whatever we are currently moving away from.

Metaphorically that might look like stopping on the path.  Maybe we have been running away from something that is asking for our attention. It might look like taking a fork in the road that we have previously overlooked or avoided.  It may be stepping up to a path that requires more "effort."  By effort I mean stepping into something outside our comfort zone.

Our "getting to the top" metaphor implies moving upward, which in the physical sense requires a physical exertion.  Metaphorically our mental exertion may be into a quieting of the mind which may seem counter productive until tried. It is a movement that can, just as physical exertion can be, uncomfortable.  Spiritual exertion seems an oxymoron or a conundrum. It brings us back to the getting no where but instead being present here.