Seeing BEauty

If you accept people just as they are they will show your their beauty.

Accepting them doesn't necessarily mean liking their choices or even spending time with them but rather accepting what is. In doing so you are expressing your beauty. In doing so you create a safe place for them to express their beauty.
It may take time. It may take patience. It may even be a long and difficult journey. You may get to experience the parts of yourself you don't yet accept and love unconditionally. It is a process. Eventually the beauty that was always there will emerge.
Have eyes for that.

Right or Happy?

Let go of your ego’s need to be right. When you’re in the middle of an argument, ask yourself: Do I want to be right or be happy? When you choose the joyous, loving, spiritual mode, your connection to intention is strengthened. -Wayne Dyer

Years ago a friend asked me if I would rather be right or happy. I honestly had to stop and think. Having been raised to believe that being right was happiness I had never considered otherwise, and I was embarrassed to admit it. Now, all these years later, I am amazed at how often I observe the desire to be right in myself and all over our culture. I am also amazed how incredibly freeing and peaceful it is to know that I can admit when I am not right and in fact let go completely of the need to be right.

This is definitely one of those journeys of progress not perfection for me. In fact, I crack myself up when I want to be perfect in this place. I catch myself, "Oh there I am wanting to be right again." I notice that it is really tied to thinking that when I am right I am safe. Being present to this awareness helps and I have found a little humor, mindfullness and a whole lot of patience and unconditional love go a long way on this journey.

Forgiveness the Gateway to Moving Through Grief

"Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.  Letting go of the past that we thought we wanted." Oprah, The 21 Day Meditation Challenge with Deepak Chopra

I recently heard Oprah stating the above quote, and it resonated in that place within me that says, "Ah ha.  That is the key to what I have been seeking."  Little did I know that even though she practically said it in that statement, forgiveness could be the gateway to moving through grief.  Or, maybe it was the resistance to forgive that brought me to the gate and the willingness to allow Oprah's statement to work through me moment by moment that opened the gate.

Sitting with the statement, patiently a clear path began to unfold before me. When I say patiently, I mean being with it moment by moment even when it feels like I am getting nowhere. I mean after sitting with it in the quiet I got up and continued on with my day.  I mean having the faith that what looks like no understanding, no progress on the outside doesn't mean it isn't "working."  I could feel that it was hitting on a place within me.  I didn't understand.  I couldn't put it into words, but I was willing to wait.

After waiting with it a couple of days and many tears from my core I began to feel the lightness, the freedom we so often hear we receive through the process of forgiveness. I felt like a secret had been revealed to me.  So many times I had been willing to forgive but felt it had alluded me.  In this experience I had learned that by opening up to it and allowing the process to move through me on faith,
the forgiveness had come to me and yes it truly gave me the feeling of being set free. 

Blame

"Unconsciously, we also feel guilt, regret, and shame because, by blaming another, we betray ourselves.  We betray and disempower ourselves by inadvertently declaring we are enslaved by circumstances beyond our control." - Michael Brown, The Presence Process.

Wow.

So how do we empower ourselves?

By taking responsibility - Response Ability.  We respond instead of react.  We do this by observing our feelings and responding to them by feeling them in a loving, patient and totally unconditional way.  This takes time.  I find that patience is a key to this process. 

With each unconditional response we feel, we return to empowered peace.

Have Patience

When I was a little girl I used to sing a song that I learned from my mother.  It started out, "Have patience.  Have patience.  Don't be in such a hurry."  I will catch myself singing that song when things get to going too fast in my life today, and somehow it always helps.

I was contemplating what it was that was helpful.  I think that I big part of it is that it is just a good re-minder.  It isn't anything I don't already know, but when I get to going too fast I forget all of my wisdom.  Some part of me thinks the faster I move the more I will get finished.  Actually what I have found more often than not is the faster I move the faster I get out of alignment. 

I have also found that my ability to have patience is directly related to how much I have tried to stuff into every moment of my life.  When I remember to slow down, have patience with the people and situations in my life, and have patience with myself, everything runs more smoothly.

Journal Prompt:

Is there anything I say no to that will simplify my life today?  If not, how can I become more patience with myself and others?

Creative Journal Prompt:

Draw an image of yourself and your situation or experience when you feel overwhelmed or impatient.  Now draw an image of when you feel patient or centered.  What do you notice from these two images?