Use the Tools You Have

We are equipped with many tools to help us navigate our lives.  We have the ability to develop new tools and update old ones.  Sometimes it seems like the tools we have aren't working.

When you are experiencing a challenge and you start to work with the tools you have and it doesn't seem like they are working, keep trying.  Keep working the tools you have until you find the one that works. It is possible they just aren't the tool for the job. Using a hammer when a screw driver is needed doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the hammer.

Recently, when I was having trouble sleeping I tried taking a hot bath, I tried journalling, I tried meditating, I tried reading and even some yoga.  These are all things that had worked very well in the past and were not helping at all in the moment.

When we aren't sure what tool we need at a particular time, we can ask for guidance.  Guidance is always available to us.  Sometimes we just need to listen.  I have experienced "hammering" away at something so loudly I couldn't hear my internal guidance.

The night I was having trouble sleeping, I finally got quiet and realized I had thoughts and feelings of fear coming up. Then it occurred to me that I was trying to get rid of them. I asked myself, "What if I just lie here and feel the fear?" I was overwhelmed with the idea but decided to try anyway.  I barely remember what happened after that as I feel asleep quickly.

Our internal guidance is always right on.  This is one tool that is fail proof when used.  Sometimes it will guide us to an old tool.  Sometimes it will guide us to a new tool.  Whatever we need our internal guidance is always guiding us bit by bit. #OneDegreeOfChange2018 #BabySteps2018

Creative Discovering Beginnings

I developed an interest in creative journalling in the early 1990's. The images I have shared here were some of the first entries into my journal. They were drawn at a time that was filled with joy and love, and also haunted with sadness, pain and anger. I drew the two entries on the same day, illustrating the roller coaster of emotions that seemed to plague my life.

The awareness that followed deepened my interest in creative journalling, and sparked my inspiration to create Creative Discovering workshops. Still, twenty years later I look at these images that are really quite simple and were drawn in a matter of minutes, and become captivated by the depth of my experience and the accuracy of expression that had escaped words for me at the time.

Today's Journal/Creative Journal prompt:

Over the next few days or weeks if you find yourself experiencing an intense emotion, comfortable or uncomfortable, grab your journal and express........

Introduction to Creative Discovering

If you enjoy traditional journalling or would like to re-ignite the natural creativity you had as a child, you might like to try what I call Creative Discovering. A great way to get started is creative journalling which is a technique in which you journal as you normally would except instead of writing you draw and use images. Even in this most basic form of Creative Discovering you will find it has a slightly different flavor than regular journalling, and as a result you are likely to have a different experience.

I have included two images from past Creative Discovering workshops to illustrate that there are as many ways to use creative journalling as there are people who do it. In one on the left, the assignment was to create an image which represents how you are feeling right now. Crayola and white paper were used in this exercise. In the other, the participant has used collage to do a self portrait.

Any medium works for creative journalling. I suggest you start with something simple like crayons or crayola markers. These are inexpensive and tend to be less daunting for some people. Remember the idea is to just start drawing. Let go of judging yourself or limiting beliefs such as "I can't draw." This is not a contest.

To get the ball rolling you could trying scrolling down through any of the journalling prompts in this blog, or simply go with what feels fun.

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Who You Were IS Who You Are

On March 16th I posted about Self Esteem, and as a result I got several great comments, and ideas. Eddie Jones, award winning Phoenix, AZ architect sent a great re-minder in his comment.

Eddie wrote, "If only adults would remember how fearless and creative they were in kindergarten. Everyone was a great artist with crayons, finger paints and dance." I agree. It is so true. We were born without the fear to create, express, and succeed.

Somewhere along the way we were "taught" to have fear. I'm not saying someone thought, "Now, I am going to teach my child or student to have fear of success." No. More than likely it was inadvertently modeled to us in a number of ways, from a number of well meaning people who weren't even totally aware of what they were doing or how great the impact of their words would be.

Eddie suggested I re-mind you of your "lost gifts and the nobility of returning to childlike ways even if (you) fingerpaint in private." I couldn't agree more. In fact, I would advocate that you find time to finger paint, and color and dance. If you can't bring yourself to do it with others (which is great fun) then by all means do it in private. The important thing is to get back to the part of you that wasn't afraid to just do it. That part of you is still in there somewhere. Who you were is who you ARE. Just purchasing a box of crayons, fingerpaints or a tutu might be enough to get you rolling.

If you need a little nudge or you just want to "play with friends," you might consider my upcoming Creative Discovering workshop in May of this year, which uses this concept to help you get in touch with the creativity that is innate within all of us. Stay tuned to this blog for date and location of this workshop.

And, as Judy re-minded us in my post on March 24th, do this with the children in your lives. Many of them are still fearless. If so, grab a box of crayons and learn from them. If they have already lost their fearlessness then grab a box of crayons and re-experience your fearlessness together. Even if they have lost it, they are closer to it than we are, and they are incredible teachers!

Today's journal prompt:

Put down the pen or pencil and grab some crayons or those cool smelly markers and draw in your journal today. Even better - put away the journal, too and grab a big piece of plain white paper and let loose!

Self Esteem Journal

Over and over I see the need for people to build self esteem, and I am always on the look out for tools to pass along. You have probably heard of a gratitude journal which has been made popular by the likes of Oprah and Sarah ban Breathnach, who wrote the Simple Abundance books. I know from personal experience and through clients, participants, friends, and family that the gratitude journal is very effective tool to create success and serenity in your life.

Recently I had an idea while talking with a participant in a workshop. If a gratitude journal is so effective, what about a self esteem journal using the same concept. Once a day take an inventory of yourself and write down 5 things that you like and/or love about your self and the things you did in that day. I began experimenting with this, and I have found it to be very effective, very quickly.

I'd like to share a couple of suggestions I found helpful, always keeping in mind that your heart will lead you on the path that is the best for you. It is nice to have a journal set aside specifically for your self esteem journal, but writing it anywhere anytime is, of course, more effective than not doing it because you don't have your journal.

I would encourage you to include things in your journal that you love about yourself just because it is who you are, and things you love about your choices and actions in that day. AND, I encourage you to write down the love you have for yourself even when you may feel like you messed up or made a mistake. Love yourself because you did the best you could. Love yourself for noticing you could improve. Love yourself because you are perfectly human. Love your process. Love who you ARE no matter what.

I invite you to give the self esteem journal a try, and let me know how it goes for you. I am looking forward to hearing your ideas, suggestions, feedback and stories.

Today's journal prompt:

Begin now, in the journal you currently have, or anywhere on any piece of paper writing 5 things your love and/or like about yourself.

Stuck

Here I am stuck. I don't know what to write. I have already tried some of the things that help me when I get to this place. I have gone online and searched around all over the place looking for something to spark an idea. I have tried doing something else and seeing if the block goes away, and it didn't. So here I am doing what I have told so many others to do.....just sit down and write about not knowing what to write about.

This is particularly helpful when journalling, and has never failed me. Whenever I am journalling and I get stuck I just start writing that I am stuck. I don't know what to write.....and on and on in that fashion, and pretty soon I am journalling away. That is often times when I uncover something very helpful as well.

In this case, I am thinking that the main thing to come out of this is just to pass along this helpful journalling tool. We will see if it helps to unstick my blogging stuck-ness.....

Today's journalling idea:

Try the above....Doesn't matter what comes to mind write it down. Even if what comes to mind is "this is stupid, I don't want to do this," write it down. Keep writing until what comes to mind is something beyond the stuck-ness.

None of My Business

What you think of me is none of my business.

I thought I was mostly unconcerned with what others think of me. On the surface, I will wear whatever clothes I want, go out in public without make up on all of the time, and do pretty much whatever I feel like at any given moment. Recently I noticed that under the surface I have more concern about what others think of me than I thought.

I find I occasionally check myself against what I think others think of me. I find this interesting since what someone thinks about me is generally based on their outside perception. So, what is it that makes me think they know something about who I am on the inside? Truly, what someone else thinks of me inside or out is none of my business. Truly, their thoughts (or judgements) are outside of me, and what is true about me is right smack dab at the center or me.

Oh ya!

Today's journalling question:

Are there ways I am giving energy to what people think of me that I may have previously been unaware of?

Happy Valentine's Day

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." -Rumi

Okay, since deciding a couple of days ago to post this quote today for Valentine's Day I have taken on the task (somewhat consciously and somewhat unconsciously) and I have FOUND THE BARRIERS....or rather it seems as if they have found me!

Funny how when I consciously give my unconscious an invitation to grow it RUNS WITH IT! A friend of mine today re-minded me that my unconscious thinks its job is to protect me. Hmm, I think my unconscious might be working overtime.

I noticed when I consciously decided to let go of a barrier to love in my life today, my unconscious immediately went into a full blown tantrum (to protect me - LOL)! Gratefully I could re-cognize it as a tantrum right away.

I watched it with amusement like, "Gee, isn't that cute how my subconscious thinks it is protecting me by throwing a tantrum and setting up a "barrier" between me and my love." Actually, no not so cute. I kindly thanked my "unconscious" for doing "its job." It was more of a thanks, but no thanks - "I appreciate your help, but I got this one." The tantrum continued, I noticed it, detatched, and was able to gracefully move past it. WOW! I love it when that happens!

Today's journalling question:

What are the barriers you have built against love? Do you notice your subconscious throwing any tantrums in your life? (Hint: The subconscious "throwing a tantrum" is more commonly identified as a problem or issue in your life) What is your subconscious "protecting" you from?

Great Questions

In alignment with my suggestion to "get in the pond" in my January 12th post I am reading a book I bumped into at the library, Writing to Change the World," by Mary Pipher. It is definitely keeping me in the "pond," and makes it easier for me to "keep swimming." It has an exercise that is right in tune with my new theme on journalling. I am including the exercises here and hope you get as much from it as I have. Enjoy!

Ms. Pipher suggests answering these questions on paper to help change writers find their voice, but I think most if not all are great questions for anyone.

What makes you laugh, cry and open your heart? (Ooooo, I particularly like this question!)

What points do you repeatedly make to those you love?

What topics keep you up at night, or help you fall asleep?

What do you know to be true?

What do you consider to be evil?

What is beautiful to you?

What do you most respect in others?

What excites your curiosity?

If you were the ruler of the world, what would you do first?

What do you want to accomplish before you die?

Can't wait to hear how you enjoyed this exercise!

Life Purpose

"There is nothing more truly artistic than to love people." - Vincent Van Gogh

What a great quote. It says in one sentence what I have said to people seeking their life purpose for a long time. As an artist I originally started my career in architecture. While there were many things I loved in that field I always felt there was something missing. In the early 90's by a "good stroke of luck," I ventured into working with people and absolutely LOVED it. For years I wasn't clear how I could love this work so much when it seemed to me (and to almost everyone I met) such a far cry from what I had loved doing as an artist.

When I started working more specifically with people as a career coach I began more and more to see how creative my work actually was. As part of the process to finding a career with passion clients would list things that they love to do and look for a translation to a career. Often times people miss the clues to possible paths because we fail to look for the less "obvious" connections.

In this process I could see how easily one could assume that as an artist I would want to pursue a career in graphic design, illustration or architecture, but actually when looking at the whole person, the work I currently do is a much better fit for me. This work combines my passion for creativity, my love of working with people and my value for freedom, family and community. Truly I am blessed to have found it!

This re-minds me of the three concentric circles again. What we see on the surface is related to what is at the center, but what is at the center can translate into many different things on the surface.

Today's journalling question:

What are you translating from your core in a literal way that could be expanded? What other ways could this core part of you express in your life?

This blog post dedicated to my dad, Wayne Bartels, one of the most passionate and talented people I know, Eddie Jones, my friend and very talented curriculum writer Sheran Mattson, and my very creative friend Shaunna O'Dowd.

Connect More

What if we took this connecting thing to another level? Consider all the people who are currently in the wall paper of your life. Oh sure, you might talk to them or maybe you don't. We're talking about the people who are running in the background of your life. There are hundreds, thousands, but we barely even notice them.

It's the people driving in the cars next to you, the banker, the woman walking down the same store aisle as you. The people at the next table in the restaurant, the waitress or the guy walking down the street. The children standing in line for the bus or the lady in the office next to yours. The cashier, the man next to you in line or the receptionist at the doctor's office. This list could go on and on.

Who do they love? What are they hurting about in silence? What is their favorite color? What concerns them? What do they love to do? What did they forget about? Who are their friends? What do they wish for?

What if just noticing them or thinking about them made a connection that makes a difference? What if hundreds, thousands or millions of us noticed another person in some small but kind way?

Journal question for today:

Who is in the wall paper of my everyday life and what kind thought could I have for them today? How would this change my world?

Under Your Skin

While facilitating a class on Self Awareness today I was inspired to turn my attention to what was going on for me. What I noticed was I am letting little things get under my skin. In each of the situations I noticed a common theme.

A little later in the day I was re-minded, yet again, how much journalling has helped me over the years, and as I thought about a particularly frustrating situation. I re-membered that when I take issues to my journal, it is always helpful.

These two things gave me an idea. I often include questions with my posts, why not make these journalling questions. I invite you to start a journal, if you haven't already, and take the time to journal on some or all of these questions. Then share your process with us.

Today's journal question...

What is getting under your skin these days? What is it that really bugs you about that? Do you notice a theme or pattern in the things that are bothering you?

P.S. I mentioned I noticed a theme. I'll give you a chance to have your own process, and share what I noticed in my process tomorrow. Until then.........Namaste!

Peace of Mind Funk

Yesterday I was in the strangest funk. For lack of a better way to describe it, I am going to call it my peace of mind funk. Peace of mind because for quite some time I have been in a good place. Oh sure, things come up, but overall I really have nothing to complain about. Really! It is awesome. And, I have been pretty good at not analyzing it and just letting myself be here, noticing the beauty of it all.

So, when I found myself a little on the down side yesterday it was such a peculiar feeling. I felt down, but for no particular reason. It wasn't a "bad" feeling just a little heavy. I noticed I wanted to analyze it, but I kept re-minding myself to just be here.

I did all of the things I normally do, I journalled, talked with a friend, meditated, read some inspiring things, went for a walk in the sunshine and finally even took a nap. I still felt about the same. That's when I picked up a novel I had started a couple of months ago. It felt so nice to ease into a good story. I had forgotten how nice a "no thinking, easy going, not gonna necessarily learn anything from this" book can be.

I am grateful I re-membered!

Re-membering to Re-lease (part 2)

One thing that really helps make it easier to let go of control is feeling safe. Learning what makes you feel safe is a process. Sometimes we aren't even aware of the fact that we are feeling unsafe because we are so accustomed to being in that particular situation.

Journalling, talking with friends, meditating and just being open to possibilities help in the process of making choices that create the feeling of safety in our lives. Once we feel safe the need to control becomes less.

What situations, people and things make you feel safe? What action can you take today towards creating a safe and peaceful environment for yourself?