Who You Were IS Who You Are

On March 16th I posted about Self Esteem, and as a result I got several great comments, and ideas. Eddie Jones, award winning Phoenix, AZ architect sent a great re-minder in his comment.

Eddie wrote, "If only adults would remember how fearless and creative they were in kindergarten. Everyone was a great artist with crayons, finger paints and dance." I agree. It is so true. We were born without the fear to create, express, and succeed.

Somewhere along the way we were "taught" to have fear. I'm not saying someone thought, "Now, I am going to teach my child or student to have fear of success." No. More than likely it was inadvertently modeled to us in a number of ways, from a number of well meaning people who weren't even totally aware of what they were doing or how great the impact of their words would be.

Eddie suggested I re-mind you of your "lost gifts and the nobility of returning to childlike ways even if (you) fingerpaint in private." I couldn't agree more. In fact, I would advocate that you find time to finger paint, and color and dance. If you can't bring yourself to do it with others (which is great fun) then by all means do it in private. The important thing is to get back to the part of you that wasn't afraid to just do it. That part of you is still in there somewhere. Who you were is who you ARE. Just purchasing a box of crayons, fingerpaints or a tutu might be enough to get you rolling.

If you need a little nudge or you just want to "play with friends," you might consider my upcoming Creative Discovering workshop in May of this year, which uses this concept to help you get in touch with the creativity that is innate within all of us. Stay tuned to this blog for date and location of this workshop.

And, as Judy re-minded us in my post on March 24th, do this with the children in your lives. Many of them are still fearless. If so, grab a box of crayons and learn from them. If they have already lost their fearlessness then grab a box of crayons and re-experience your fearlessness together. Even if they have lost it, they are closer to it than we are, and they are incredible teachers!

Today's journal prompt:

Put down the pen or pencil and grab some crayons or those cool smelly markers and draw in your journal today. Even better - put away the journal, too and grab a big piece of plain white paper and let loose!

Shift Happens

Today I was re-minded of one of the most powerful tools you can use to create success and serenity in your life - a consciousness shift! I think many of us are aware of the fact that the state of our consciousness creates our experience, but when things get tough we flounder for ways to shift our consciousness to align with what we want to experience.

A good friend of mine was experiencing a difficult challenge in her life today, the kind of challenge that would knock pretty much anyone off their center. Not too long after receiving unexpected difficult news she shared with me that she was taking time to go online and look at pictures of beautiful things. What a GREAT idea. The internet provides us with many tools. What an awesome idea to use it to shift our consciousness from what can feel all consuming towards faith in hopeful possibilities.

There are many ways that I have used this idea in my life, from simply talking with a friend, reading something inspiring, listening to music I love, remembering things I am grateful for, dancing around, and even just being silly with my kids. Sometimes different occassions call for different consciousness shifters.

Today's journal prompt:

What makes you feel joy, peace, love, gratitude? Make a list you can refer to when you need a consciousness lift. Keep the list in and easy to find location. Refer to in the next time you are feeling down or just need a little consciousness boost.

Being?

What is the "being" part of the equation -

Be + Do = Have

I think we are pretty clear on the "Do" and "Have" parts of the equation. For the most part we know what we want to have, and given a little time to plan it out we can figure out what we need to "do" to make that happen. Don't get me wrong, I see plenty of people who are stuck in these parts of the equations as well, but with a little coaching and a little willingness this part is easily overcome.

It is the "being" part that is so elusive. It is hard for most people to even get a grasp on the "being" part, which is so interesting because the "being" part just IS. We already are that which we are trying to figure out, trying to connect with, trying to be. This is the ultimate re-minder because it is simply remembering that which we already are.

Sure there are things you can "do" to connect with "being" like meditation or contemplation, but stop for a minute and re-cognize that there is nothing to figure out, nothing to do, nothing to connect with. The "being" part of the equation already IS.

Today's journal prompt:

Who am I?

More Self Esteem Ideas

Judy from Phoenix, AZ liked the self esteem journal (see post March 16th, 2011) and had a great idea to share this concept with the children in our lives. These children could be your own children, or in Judy's case she was thinking of a child in her neighborhood. You could share this idea of a child in a class you teach or maybe share the idea with a friend who has children.

A couple of possibilities could be that you gift the child with a journal especially for creating self esteem statements, or maybe you just share your experience of your self esteem journal with them. Something like, "I recently started a self esteem journal, and I thought of you because you are someone I really like."

I agree with Judy's comment to the self esteem post. It would be really great if children were exposed to more ways to build self esteem. While I always advocate that the number one way to build a child's self esteem is for the parent to build their own self esteem, I think it is always a good idea to share lots of self esteem tools with children.

Thank you, Judy!

P.S. Another idea for building self esteem for children in your life - when you notice them, say so out loud. (ie. I notice how kind you were to your friend - or - I notice you are really working hard on your drawing - or - I notice you did a great job of stacking those books, etc.) This idea is basically the self esteem journal out loud!

Today's journal prompt:

Did you learn positive self esteem tools as a child? If not, what are the ways you can build your self esteem today?

Changing People

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou

Leave it to Maya to tell it like it is! This is so true. I remember years ago finally realizing that I could not change anyone but myself. This was news to me, and I have to admit it was news I wasn't too excited about. At the time, I was sure that there were other people, besides me, who were making my life miserable.

When I finally accepted that I could not change them, and that I could change myself, I went to work on the latter. I was absolutely amazed. I would have sworn to you that those other people changed! As I took a closer look I was clear, the others had not changed at all, what had changed was my attitude towards them!

Today's journal question:

Is there anyone who you would like to change? How can you change your attitude towards them?

Gratitude Attracts

"...A grateful heart is like a magnet. When you are living in gratitude, you will attract more of what you are grateful for." -Cheryl Richardson

The Law of Attraction tells us what we focus on grows. When we focus our thoughts, feelings and beliefs on what we are grateful for that which we are grateful for grows. It is that simple - really.

Today's journal question:

What do you want to attract more of in your life? How can you be grateful for that which you want in your life now?

Self Esteem Journal Continued

Thanks everyone for the comments left both here and sent directly to me. I am pretty sure this post has gotten more over all comments back than any other. A few people have shared some really great thoughts with me, and as I get permission, I will be posting more ideas on this subject.

I think that empowering self esteem in our selves, and encouraging it in others is essential in all our lives. I am excited for the response this has received, and I am really looking forward to the journey ahead with all of you!

If you haven't had a chance to share, or you still have, comments or ideas click on the word "comments" below to share, or email me directly at tanyajordening@gmail.com. I am looking forward to hearing more!

Stay tuned for more to come!

Self Esteem Journal

Over and over I see the need for people to build self esteem, and I am always on the look out for tools to pass along. You have probably heard of a gratitude journal which has been made popular by the likes of Oprah and Sarah ban Breathnach, who wrote the Simple Abundance books. I know from personal experience and through clients, participants, friends, and family that the gratitude journal is very effective tool to create success and serenity in your life.

Recently I had an idea while talking with a participant in a workshop. If a gratitude journal is so effective, what about a self esteem journal using the same concept. Once a day take an inventory of yourself and write down 5 things that you like and/or love about your self and the things you did in that day. I began experimenting with this, and I have found it to be very effective, very quickly.

I'd like to share a couple of suggestions I found helpful, always keeping in mind that your heart will lead you on the path that is the best for you. It is nice to have a journal set aside specifically for your self esteem journal, but writing it anywhere anytime is, of course, more effective than not doing it because you don't have your journal.

I would encourage you to include things in your journal that you love about yourself just because it is who you are, and things you love about your choices and actions in that day. AND, I encourage you to write down the love you have for yourself even when you may feel like you messed up or made a mistake. Love yourself because you did the best you could. Love yourself for noticing you could improve. Love yourself because you are perfectly human. Love your process. Love who you ARE no matter what.

I invite you to give the self esteem journal a try, and let me know how it goes for you. I am looking forward to hearing your ideas, suggestions, feedback and stories.

Today's journal prompt:

Begin now, in the journal you currently have, or anywhere on any piece of paper writing 5 things your love and/or like about yourself.

Be Specific.....continued

Yesterday I wrote, you don't have to make your goals specific, unless you want to achieve them. The key here is in the end of the sentence, unless you want to achieve them.

"Of course I want to achieve them!" you might say.

And, I would ask you, "Are you sure?"

Over and over I see that we set goals that are not in alignment with our true heart's desire. Our true heart's desire has nothing to do with shoulds, and it often doesn't have much to do with what we think we want. Thinking comes from our head, and while it is a valuable tool in many instances, it is not very helpful with what comes from our heart?

What comes from our heart is more subtle. We aren't as accustomed to listening to our hearts. Our heart speaks softly, in fact we don't listen to our hearts we feel from our heart.

No worries. This isn't to say that our head had no part in the process. If from our head we have knowing, from our heart we have intuition. Head and heart are the masculine and the feminine nature in us, they are the yin and the yang. These two working together will lead us to what it is we really, really, really want.

Today's journal question:

If I get very quiet and ask my heart, "Is this what I really want in this situation," what do I feel?

Be Specific

It is amazing how days slip through life like sand through time. I made one of those basic goal setting error when I said I would post to my blog 4-5 days a week. My subconscious went to work asking which 4-5 days that would be, and automatically assumed it would be the 4-5 days that aren't today!

Blog posting everyday was successful because it was so specific, clear and definite. Sometimes I slip into thinking, "That is ridiculous! I know what 4-5 days a week are. That is specific enough!" The interesting thing is it beats me every time!

You don't have to make your goals specific, unless you want to achieve them.

Today's journal question:

Are my goals specific enough? Could a 10 year old read them and tell me exactly how, when, where and why they are happening?

More Life Is Good...All the Time

I have found, as I wrote last week, that even though I know intellectually that Life IS Good, all the time, I don't always experience it that way on a feeling level. In my process, I have learned that stuffing those feelings, or denying their existence was not helpful. I could *know* that Life is Good, even in the midst of a difficulty, and it didn't mean I didn't feel angry, upset or sad.

In fact, I did feel all of those feelings, and sometimes more. As with any time I notice a feeling, I found the most helpful thing was to allow myself to feel what came up, and seek the guidance the feeling brought with it. I might ask myself questions to find out what that guidance was. I might just allow myself to feel and come back and explore it at another time.

Being gentle and non-judgemental of myself as I notice ALL of my thoughts, feelings and beliefs has been one of those things I need to re-mind myself often.

Today's Journal Question:

Am I accepting myself, with all my thoughts, feelings and beliefs, right where I am? What "ya but's" do I have around this?

Re-minderz on Vacation

Re-minderz is on vacation in the mountains of California.

Log on in a few days for insights from the mountain, and....

....more on Life IS Good....All of the Time!

Happy Weekend!

Life IS Good

This bracelet is a "treat myself to something special" purchase I made a few years ago. It was money well spent. I love the bracelet, and I truly feel special every time I wear it. It always re-minds me of going to see Michael Beckwith speak years before "The Secret" was published.

We would go to see him speak every couple of months. Each we saw him he would say, "life is good," sporadically throughout his talk. The crowd would always respond by saying, "all the time." It really struck me as I definitely had times when I didn't think life was all that great.

At first I liked this idea that life is good all the time. I thought of it as an affirmation that if I would just focus on the affirmation, life would become good. Good meaning it would be to my liking, it would go as I see fit. This was helpful and felt comforting to me.

Over time (LOTS of time) as I *worked* with this re-minder I came to real-ize that life already was good all of the time. Life is good even when I think it isn't. Even when I am arguing with someone I love. Even when my child is throwing a tantrum. Even when I lose my job. Even when I lose my house. Even when I FEEL differently. My feeling doesn't change the Truth. Life IS Good, all of the time. You can be sure I had a few internal tantrums over this one!

My judgement or belief about the situation most definitely effects my feeling. When I release my judgement. When I choose to believe that Life IS Good, all of the time, even if I don't understand, I begin to experience the Truth that was always, already there.

Which re-minds me of *always, already* thinking and listening and judging. Hmm......more on that soon!

Today's journal question:

Is there an aspect of my life that does not feel good? What is my belief or judgement of the situation? Am I willing to believe that Life is Good, all of the time? Am I willing to be willing? Even in this situation? Even if I don't feel it, think it, see it, or believe it right now? Is there anything I can wear or carry with me to re-mind me of this Truth?

P.S. In the past I have forgotten this real-ization pretty often. When I notice that I have forgotten I just gently (and sometimes not so gently) re-mind myself. Isn't being human interesting?

I Did It!

Yahoo! I did it! Yipee!

I completed February's Nablopomo by posting to my blog everyday in February. I have learned so much and gotten way more from this experience than I had anticipated. I have learned things that I want to do in my blog that I've started like the journal questions, and I learned things I would do differently like - blogging everyday doesn't leave any room for a break. So....

I am committed to blogging 4-5 days a week, giving myself a break, but maintaining some consistency. I hope this will continue to work for readers.

And, I want your feedback on the journal questions. I have had a couple of people email me saying they love the new addition. That kind of feedback is very helpful. More feedback is welcomed. I would like to know if you find the journal questions helpful? Do you like them? Not like them? Why? Is there anything you would change about them? Any ideas of how to make them better or more helpful? more inspiring? more empowering?

Click on the word "comments" below to leave a comment here, or email me directly at tanyajordening@gmail.com

Thanks for being a part of Re-minderz!