Forgiveness the Gateway to Moving Through Grief

"Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.  Letting go of the past that we thought we wanted." Oprah, The 21 Day Meditation Challenge with Deepak Chopra

I recently heard Oprah stating the above quote, and it resonated in that place within me that says, "Ah ha.  That is the key to what I have been seeking."  Little did I know that even though she practically said it in that statement, forgiveness could be the gateway to moving through grief.  Or, maybe it was the resistance to forgive that brought me to the gate and the willingness to allow Oprah's statement to work through me moment by moment that opened the gate.

Sitting with the statement, patiently a clear path began to unfold before me. When I say patiently, I mean being with it moment by moment even when it feels like I am getting nowhere. I mean after sitting with it in the quiet I got up and continued on with my day.  I mean having the faith that what looks like no understanding, no progress on the outside doesn't mean it isn't "working."  I could feel that it was hitting on a place within me.  I didn't understand.  I couldn't put it into words, but I was willing to wait.

After waiting with it a couple of days and many tears from my core I began to feel the lightness, the freedom we so often hear we receive through the process of forgiveness. I felt like a secret had been revealed to me.  So many times I had been willing to forgive but felt it had alluded me.  In this experience I had learned that by opening up to it and allowing the process to move through me on faith,
the forgiveness had come to me and yes it truly gave me the feeling of being set free. 

Breathing Re-minder

Gratefully some part of us continually remembers to breathe.  Yes, sometimes we catch our selves holding our breath and remembering to allow the natural flow is helpful.  You don't need to try and control the breath at all.  No need to make it deeper or different in any way.  Just be present with it. It may be helpful to consciously say to yourself, "I am breathing in.  I am breathing out."  You might use this mantra just as a means of noticing and remembering our natural rhythm as opposed to controlling.  Allow it to bring you present. It amazes me how the simple act of consciously connecting to our breath brings us present. Brings us to understanding. Brings us to peace. Can bring us to relief.

"Being aware of your breath forces you into the present moment - the key to all inner transformation." -Eckhart Tolle