Calm, Peace.

My mentor gave me an affirmation that says, "Nothing can disturb the calm, peace of my soul."  I have worked with this affirmation often over the years, and as I say it my questioning self responds, "Oh ya, this situation seems to be definitely disturbing the calm, peace of my soul at the very least, the calm, peace of my life."

During a recent meditation I had a realization about this affirmation. My questioning self was confusing the reality of my experiences with the Reality of my soul.  After years of repeating this affirmation it came to me while I was sitting in the peace at the eye of the storm that while my external situations appear nothing like peace or calm, sitting in my meditation, in fact right there in my soul was the ever present calm and peace that I had been affirming.  "To affirm anything is to assert positively that it is so, even in the face of all contrary evidence" -H. Emilie Cady.   Once again I am re-minded I do not repeat affirmations to make them so, I repeat affirmations to re-mind myself they ARE so.

The calm, peace of my soul is always there, and to experience it in my life (which is what my questioning self is so concerned about anyway) all I have to do is remember it. Align to it.  Connect to it.  

I sat in awe that at any moment of any day I can connect to the calm, peace that is ever present within me.  This fascinated me as I connected with it in the middle of what felt like an impossible crisis in my life.   Years of affirming this statement and another layer of understanding, connection, awareness and alignment is made clear to me. Truly I am grateful.

Bits

This morning I was feeling grateful for the bits of awareness that I might have in a day, and how those bits of awareness hook together over the years and turn into wisdom.  Wisdom that can guide me through life.  I was reflecting on how it is possible to be aware of this as I was today, and also how it is possible to feel like a complete bumbling idiot like I did yesterday. 

How interesting it is that the wisdom we possess can be so completely covered up by pain and circumstances.  As much as I talk of how we just need a gentle re-minder of something we already know, there are often times when I hear a bit of wisdom I have heard umpteen million times and I feel like I am sick and tired of hearing it.  Funny how when heard again in just the right moment it can be the very thing that uncovers the awareness and brings it rushing back as exactly the thing that helps to lift the pain.  I giggle at myself as I am then grateful to have heard it umpteen million and one times.