Feather or Hammer

"The universe will teach us our lessons with the tickle of a feather or the whomp of a sledgehammer, depending on how open we are to learning the particular lesson. Getting stubborn and defensive invites the sledgehammer; getting open and curious invites the feather. It took me a long time to figure out who was in charge of the painfulness of my lessons." -Gay Hendricks, The Big Leap

When I read this passage I had to laugh out loud. Not only can I relate, but even after knowing who is in charge of the painfulness of my lessons I still find myself in the path of that hammer.

This is when I need to re-mind myself - progress not perfection. And, focus on the fact that I am choosing the feather more and more often. WHEW!

The Gift Beyond Perfectionism

Here is a snippet from one of my favorite inspiring daily email messages Daily Groove about parenting, by Scotte Noelle. www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

"Perfectionistic parenting is rooted in the false idea
that it's bad to make a mistake or fall short of one's
expectations."

I totally agree, and would add that perfectionism in any area of your life robs you of the opportunity to receive the gift of your mistakes, frustrations and challenges.

Today's re-minder - next time you notice you've made a mistake or fallen short of your expectations in any area of your life - stop - look and listen. This is opportunity knocking at your door. There is a gift hidden in this experience.

Ask yourself, "What if I allowed myself to be perfectly imperfect? What would happen if I let go of perfectionism? Keep consciously searching until you have received the gift of your awareness.

Tigers and Bears

If I got scared when I was little, my mom would tell me to think of tigers instead of bears. She said that your brain can not think of two things at the same time so if you are afraid of bears think of tigers, and your brain can't think of the bears. As a result, you won't feel afraid.

I remember spending a lot of time thinking that both tigers and bears are scary. Why didn't she say if you are afraid of bears think of kitty cats? Guess what....it worked. In thinking of why she said what she said, my brain couldn't think about whatever I was afraid of, and I no longer felt afraid.

I use this same concept as an adult. When I am feeling stress or fear about something, I focus on something positive. It works. As soon as I feel less stress or fear I am in a better place to make a positive choice about anything on my mind.

P.S. Reminder: Call your mother.....:)

Stronger Voice

Recently I had a very difficult decision to make. After giving it careful consideration I realized that ultimately I knew what I wanted, but I was allowing my fear to keep me from following my heart.

I decided to gently re-mind myself that there was really nothing to fear in this situation, but everytime I used my peaceful, gentle voice to re-mind myself I felt like a yoyo being pulled back and forth between my gentle re-minder and my fear. Inside my head it sounded something like....

Gentle Re-minder: "There is nothing to fear. Everything is in order."

Fear: "You're crazy. You're making a big mistake."

Finally I realized that the gentle re-minder wasn't doing the trick. What I needed was a strong boundary with my fear. I changed my approach by raising my tone of voice. Everytime I felt the fear, stress or shame I started to say as if speaking directly to it, "STOP! I don't need your opinion. Leave me alone!"

It worked! Almost immediately I felt the stress fall away. I felt peace. I felt centered in my clarity to follow my heart.